In the words of Lao-Tzu the sixth century founder of Taoism, ”a journey of a thousand li starts with a single step.”
So there is was sitting in the lobby of my hotel awaiting to leave to my next destination…a glass of 30 year old malt in one hand, over ice, and a dragon fruit in the other, well, it was actually 2 dragon fruits, both sliced and plated from the breakfast buffet.
And before you go on about my choice of beverage at breakfast, just know that its better than the diet I got used to previously… no milk available I was actually reduced to coco pops and muesli and in the absence of milk I invented a concoction of vodka and coffee mate. Let me tell you, it’s a hell of a way to start the day!
Anyway, so it got me thinking. The flavors where amazing. Theologian and writer James Claire just wanted to don a chefs uniform then and there, and make a dessert from this collective of dragon fruit and its seeded glory in both white and purple and the flavor of the beverage at hand. Together they were stunning, and I could make a delicious and stunning dessert from them. I wanted to give up writing for while and just cook.
A friend of mine, who is a chef, has recently discussed giving it all up to find a permanent career in writing and journalism. He is a great writer after all, but its a big issue at mid life to change direction like that.
Then there is the case of a certain young lady that means a lot to me. She loves my nose, my eye colour and my white skin.
I adore her eyes, her dark hair and her nose and especially the golden caramelised colour of her skin.
You see, we are all the same!! No matter what we have, we all seem to want something else.
Some of us stay indoors scared to have the suns rays touch our skin for fear it makes us darker , others can’t get enough of the sun, its rays or anything that will darken us, tanning beds, tanning booths and spray tans to name a few.
I know friends who use whitening creams, powders and bleaches to remove what most of us seem to spend a fortune trying to brown up.
Why is it that we are never happy ?
A certain friend of recent past, constantly said her father complained and picked at little things, but she could not see that “SHE” was exactly the same.
Not a day went by when she was not complaining about something, usually to do with me. Had she just conceded to a life of happiness she would have seen that she has a great job, an amazing life, an amazing future and someone that loved her no matter what.
But before we find happiness there is one thing more important that we need to do… In the words or Lao-Tzu, “a single step”.
We need to love…
And I don’t mean others… the depth of love we should have is not for others, friends, lovers or companions, but for ourselves.
If you do not love yourself, if you are not comfortable in your own skin, if you can not look in the mirror and be proud and content, then how are you ever suppose to love another or be loved.
We were never all meant to be superstars, some where born with the DNA of models, many are not. But does that make us lesser people. Hell no !
I was born with the DNA of a “hippo”, my friend with the DNA of pastry chef, both of us are large guys. And not much to look at. But one thing we both actually have in common is that we are comfortable within our own skin. People can call me fat and I agree.
Does it mean I will lose weight immediately, I doubt it. Sometime in the future I will need to for age and medical reasons, but will I do it for the cosmetic purposes for another person. Why should I.!
I love myself and I don’t see reason to change for anything.
True love is to look past someone’s pitfalls and to see the beauty inside of the soul. That’s why perfect partners are often called “soul mates.” There are times when we have all seen a couple who look mismatched according to our stereotypical expectations, but the couple are so happy together. They probably can’t tell you why, just that they are absolutely in love with the other person.
Now that’s love?
We need to learn to be happy with what our lot is in life.
There are so many others, billions in fact who would swap with each us in a heart beat, for there’s truly is a tough existence.
Love what you are, love who you are and love doing what you do. The grass always seems greener on the other side, every job seems to have it easier than the one each of us has, but life could be much worse.
The bank account, the fashion sense and the social status of a person is no indication at all as to the one you think you’re loving.
Love yourself first and foremost. If others can’t love what and who are on first sight, then take a pass.
Love should be more than skin deep. Look at the soul, the heart and the ideals of a person and you will find a truly beautiful human being to spend time with.
If we can learn to love ourselves, it would stop us being envious of others too. There would be less fighting in the world, less squabbles and less desire to win at all costs.
Love can change the world, but it’s ourselves who must be the centre of our own attention first, or else everything else is superfluous.
In the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America of 1776 it is stated, “all men are created equal. They are endowed by the Creator with certain inalienable rights, among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
So if we are all created equal, why do some of us think they are better than others? Why do some such as my recent friend find it easy to tell me how to better myself? Why do we all try to be what we are not or why do some try to deny where they were born and why do others in foreign lands fight each other over disagreements of how each should live?
Lao-Tzu’s words of , ”a journey of a thousand li starts with a single step”, should be our first consideration before we hurt another with words, fists or arms.
We are all born equal !
If as a “first step”, we learnt to love ourselves and respect ourselves, we might see that we are equal! But whilst we remain unloved to ourselves, we shall always find things in others that make us envious or crazed.
Lets start this long journey to world peace and true happiness with a single step – self love, self appreciation and self reflection. Then we will see that we are indeed created equal and deserve love, life and happiness as equals, each and every one of us.
Anyway, till then, I’m off to write some more. I’ve eaten the dragon fruit and thrown back the beverage, I’ll send the dessert concept to my friend the chef and tell him to cook it. Food is what he does best, and we love him for that.
Besides, writing is not as easy as one thinks, the breakfasts alone can make you tired.
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